“You choose what you want, you take what you get, and then you choose again…”
— Steve Napolitan

Welcome to the Steve Show! Today, I want to talk about why we need to reset when things aren’t going the way we want them to— life, business, relationships, etc. However, when you are feeling stuck, stressed, busy, and on the treadmill, how do you reset? How do you change your state of mind so that you can eventually move forward again? How do you break out of a potential downward spiral?

Step 1: Wallow in What You Have Got

The first step: allow yourself to wallow. Energy and emotions are meant to be expressed. One of my friends, Tommy Boris, always talks about the 5-minute wallow. During this time, you might journal your experience, sing a little, or just talk it out to yourself. Whatever it is— give yourself 5-minutes. Blowing off steam is healthy as long as it doesn’t come at the expense of someone else in your life.

Furthermore, there is no point pretending that things aren’t going well for you. You must work with what is. My mentor and transformational coach, Carl Buchheit, taught me— and I’m paragraphrazing— “You choose what you want, you take what you get, and then you choose again…”

Step 2: Notice What Is Working

The second step: noticing what is working. The most powerful gift you have is your attention. When things aren’t working, we can start to get into a loop where all we notice is the things that aren’t working in our lives. This is part of what accelerates the downward spiral.

Now, there is no point pretending that things aren’t going so well—that wouldn’t be helpful. However, what you can do is start to pay attention to the little things that are working in your life. This will eventually bring you back to a much more resourceful state called gratitude.

Step 3: Learn and Choose Again

There is no failure, only feedback. Everything that happens in our life, everything that comes our way— that’s all the information that is helping us learn. It’s feedback. It’s helping us learn.  In fact, I think the whole human experience is all learning. After you have taken the time to wallow and brought yourself back to noticing what is working, you can learn from the experiences and choose again.

Step 4: Plan Regular Breaks

Maybe you can relate to this experience— you had to pull an all-night to finish some work. You get stuck on something and you can’t figure it out no matter how hard you grind. Then, you finally give in and go to bed and when you wake up the next morning, you fix it in a matter of minutes!

Sometimes the best way to achieve what you want is not to push harder, but allow yourself time away from it.

That’s the power of resetting. So, I recommend taking regular mini-breaks. Go for a walk for a few minutes. Jump up and down and get your blood flowing. Get into a habit of daily meditation. Listen to some music that will help recharge your energies and reset your focus. Maybe even pick up a musical instrument and play a tune.

For me, I love going out in nature, taking my shoes off, and grounding my feet in the dirt and feeling the Earth.

So. I’m excited to hear how you go with the 4 steps I have shared. Please, do share your experience with me. And, if you have further questions, post them below. I read and respond to every post.

As always, until we meet again…

Choose Gratitude Create Freedom

Steve Napolitan