This is me, grumpy and sad. My daughter took this picture when I didn’t want her to. She said she took the picture to show me how grumpy I was. It was the end of a tough day.
Some days are not as smooth as others. Some days I’m grouchy about what I’ve been going through. Having not had any major health issues in my life, this healing process feels like forever. All my doctors and practitioners say I’m healing very quickly. Some days I agree with that. Other days I feel like they are just saying that in an attempt to make me feel better.
If I didn’t tell you about the tough days I’d be lying. While I focus, the best I can, on my gratitude and positive things in my life, it is not easy to block all the other feelings. Really, I don’t think it’s a good idea to block them. This is a process. Having feelings and releasing them are part of that process.
It’s been tough for me to live without doing things like I’ve done before. I’ve even tried to do so and hurt myself in the process. This affected me physically, slowing down my therapy and got me emotional with times of slight depression. I say slight, because I do tend to pull myself out of this quickly. Most of the time in less than a day. (And I’ve spent thousands on coaches and teachers to teach me how to do this.)
Here I’m just grateful I can mostly stand in a way I used to. I’m also grateful that going through this as it is forcing me to do things differently, even if it wasn’t my first choice. This is a major “getting out of my comfort zone.”
I’m having to rethink my relationship with myself, my relationship with my wife, my kids, my team, and my work (that I still want to give to the world.)
Many things will be different moving forward. It’s okay to be sad about that. (For me I believe it is.) I’m also excited for the next chapter of my life.
If you are having a tough time, it’s okay to allow your feelings to be there. Most of the time it will allow it to pass sooner.
Life is learning.
What are your lessons right now?
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